What Estate Agent Phrases Really Mean

Lets face it, Estate Agents are famous for embellishing the truth when it comes to writing property descriptions and wearing shiney suits with brightly coloured ties. For that it is, by and large, a much maligned profession. But why has this happened?

Well the suit and tie thing is frankly inexplicable even to the majority of other agents. Anyone flaunting a cheap polyester suit in 2021 deserves to be rendered unconscious by a shock from their own static charge, however the language of the infamous Property Description lives on and is born out of a need to avoid offending the client.

So if you are looking for your first property, or maybe you haven’t moved for 30 years or more, here are a few common phrases to look out for.

Popular Location.

If a property sits within a popular location you can almost guarantee the area has a few issues on the go. Hospitals are popular, but that doesn’t mean anybody wants to be there. It is commonly used to describe property in densely populated areas with a high turnover of tenancies or ownership. If a property has caught your eye in a place described as a “Popular Location” it could be worth venturing over to the crime map website and seeing how the incident rate compares to other locations.

Generous Outdoor Space.

My gran was generous. Every Saturday for 30 years she’d give me 50p to go and “treat myself”. Her heart was in the right place but ultimately 50p wasn’t going to change my life and a Generous Outdoor Space isn’t going to change yours either.

It’s estate agent speak for “The developer wanted to cram as many houses on this site as possible. They didn’t even want to provide any outdoor space at all, but the local authority said they had to, so they generously provided 2 square metres of paving so you can hang your washing out”.

Beware of wide angle lenses on descriptions that feature this little gem. You could end up with a wasted journey to go and view it.

Plenty of Charm

It sounds so sweet and innocent, but this is a way of trying to acknowledge multiple flaws in the design and layout, particularly in older properties. In more modern properties it can sometimes be translated to mean that a DIY enthusiast has got a bit carried away.

Just remember that none of these “Charming Features” are added benefits. For example, that essential route from the kitchen to the dining room that happens to have a beam 5ft off the ground requiring contortion skills to get past it with a hot-pot. That is not charm, that is a serious risk to your physical well-being. Avoid.

A short walk from local amenities

This means that most people who live near the property don’t have a car because it’s a nightmare to get parked and the chances are it doesn’t have its own driveway. You need to walk for about 15-20 minutes if you’ve run out of milk on a Sunday night.

We’re delighted to offer for sale….

In all my years of doing this I don’t think I’ve ever come across a single agent sat there at 4pm on a Thursday falling over themselves with glee as they set up a property listing.

If anything, this is written when the agent genuinely doesn’t know where to start in creating the description. It's the equivalent of taking a bit of a run up before trying to attempt an impossible jump, or in this case making a shed sound like a palace.

Here’s what they really want to write. “We honestly can’t believe that the vendor is insisting we try the house on the market at this price. We valued it at nearly half of what it’s come on at. We’re simply glad to get it on the market because the sooner we put it on, the sooner it’ll either come off, or they’ll drop the price to a level where we’ll get paid for all the work we’ve done to get it listed.

How are we any different?

When you look at our listings you'll see that we've put a bit of thought into how they stand out when potential buyers scroll through Rightmove or Zoopla. Take a look here. We capitalise key features and write it in such a way that these key features are visible on the shorter advert summaries that people see before they click into the main listing. This increases the likelihood of further details being viewed and ultimately the chances of a viewing being booked. It's small things like this that sets us apart from other agencies.

If you think we’ve missed a few obvious estate agent phrases in this article why not get in touch! We’ll add them to the list along with a brief translation!

In the mean time if you would like a genuine no nonsense valuation or a chat about your property marketing, please use the link below and give us a bit more info.

Give me a same day online valuation please.